Anything but Love
by Sabina-san
Summary: Kazama has a difficult time expressing his emotions in terms of his relationship with Sen, which leads to a disagreement about how he has been treating her during her pregnancy. KazaSen


Author's Note:This was inspired by headcanons on Tumblr written by Alley Cat Sunflower. Thanks for inspiring this and for getting me into KazaSen!

* * *

 _Humans are tedious_ , Kazama thought as he approached his bedroom. After a day of dealing with several humans wishing for Oni assistance in their affairs, Kazama was looking forward to spending time with his wife. He really had no interest in anything the humans were doing or what they offered as payment for services rendered, but he knew he had to consider them as part of his role being the consort of the Princess of the Oni. Kazama opened the shoji to his bedroom, expecting to see Sen resting in the bed. Instead, he was greeted by a serving girl, who bowed low to him. His wife was nowhere to be seen.

"Where is she?" he demanded.

The girl's eyes widened at his tone. "She just finished meeting with someone in the audience chamber, my lord."

Kazama glared at the girl. "I thought I ordered her to stay in bed today?"

"And she ordered us to not cancel the meeting," her reply was cheeky.

Kazama continued to stare at the girl before him, seething in his wrath. She kept her face downward, which was probably a good thing for her. Kazama couldn't handle anymore defiance at this point in his day. He turned on his heel and stalked toward the room where he suspected Sen to still be.

Kazama entered the audience chamber, his demeanor bespeaking the irritation he was feeling towards his wife at the moment. She was seated seiza on a cushion, stifling a small yawn. His eyes immediately went to the barely perceptible swell of her belly, and he was momentarily assuaged by a sort of delight knowing what resided there. His eyes then went to his wife's face, and his displeasure returned.

"Sen," his vocalization was terse.

He saw her whole body tense, her pink eyes narrowing as if to warn him that her response wouldn't be as submissive as he wished. "Chikage."

"What are you doing?"

Sen stood and took a step toward her husband. "I finished an audience with a local dignitary." A pause. "I don't understand you. This is part of my duty as Princess."

"You are with child."

A hand went briefly to her abdomen. "Yes, I am. I'm not the first and certainly not the last to be so."

Kazama took a step closer to shorten the distance between them. "I told you to not work so hard and to delegate some of your responsibilities so you can-"

Sen sighed in exasperation. "I sat the entire time. I wasn't extending myself." Her irritation was percolating underneath her civil tone. "I am fine. I'm not over-extending myself."

"You look tired," Kazama snapped. "I don't want you to harm the child!"

Sen's mouth opened slightly in shock for a moment before she closed it once more with a glare. Kazama didn't quail before her wrath - he was used to it - and he was filled with righteous indignation at her seemingly flippant attitude toward their child. He expected a retort from her, but he instead watched as she brushed past him without a word. He turned to watch her leave with a slam of the shoji.

Now Kazama was irate. He couldn't understand Sen at all. Rather, when he thought he did, she appeared to change. It was as if she was deliberately attempting to distance herself from him while she continued to complain that she wanted him to be more like a husband to her.

"Am I not doing what she asked?" Kazama growled aloud.

Ever since he found out that Sen was pregnant, Kazama had made efforts to show that he cared for her beyond just being someone he could reproduce with. He had doted on her by making sure she had only the best food to eat, even going so far as to disallow any foods he felt weren't healthy enough for her. He had insisted she get as much rest as possible, and he meddled with her schedule to limit the responsibilities she had on her shoulders. He was going to do anything he could to be sure Sen would bring a healthy child into the world. This, to him, was being a good husband. It frustrated him to no end that she was throwing his efforts back into his face with her little tantrums.

Kazama peered around the room, looking for someone to tend to him. He needed to stew in his anger awhile before he saw Sen again, and he knew how he was going to do it. A servant walked by, and he barked an order for sake. She bowed and scurried away. He then approached the cushion Sen had been sitting on and settled himself on it while he waited for his sake. His thoughts continued to spiral around Sen and her infuriating behavior, which made his annoyance continue to spike out of control. He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he failed to notice when he was served his sake. He just happened to look down to see a dish and the bottle waiting for him.

"Hmm," he hummed as he took the dish and bottle into his hands and poured himself a draught.

Kazama inhaled the scent of the warmed beverage and found it pleasing enough to take some of the edge off of his anger. He sipped at it delicately, noting a floral note to the liquid. He decided that it wasn't the best sake he had ever had, but it was passable for the mood he was in. He downed the rest of the dish before serving himself from the bottle once more.

"My lord, would you like me to send in supper?"

"Yes, yes," he replied, annoyed that he was being bothered. "And I will require more sake."

"Yes, my lord."

In the time it took for his supper tray and another bottle of sake to arrive, Kazama had finished off his first bottle. The servant did not interact with him, but while he lazily helped himself to the various dishes on his tray, he continued to drink without consuming much of his food. When he had polished off the second bottle, he was pleased to discover another one had been set for him. He was glad to see that his needs were being anticipated. He could feel the beginnings of inebriation, and he welcomed its familiar embrace. He would need to be intoxicated to deal with his wife once again. Never mind that the alcohol did little to assuage his rage.

* * *

Sen was just getting settled under the quilts on the futon when she heard the shoji to the bedroom slam open. She winced at the sound and sat up to see Kazama standing in the doorway, swaying slightly. She knew then that he was at least tipsy, which immediately put her on her guard. She suspected that he was in this state because of their earlier row, and it annoyed her. She wondered why he had to turn to alcohol to get himself through one of their little spats. She didn't think it was _that_ bad, especially since she had left before it could get worse.

She watched Kazama slowly make his way across the room, and she was keenly aware that he was attempting to appear as if he had not imbibed, which just annoyed her further. She wished he would just own his choices. Besides, he should know that the minute he drew near to her, she would smell the alcohol on his breath and know that he wasn't sober. Kazama came to the edge of the futon and knelt. He leaned over and placed a rough kiss on Sen's lips. Sen knew where this was going and she wasn't about to have any of it. She pushed him back, a look of disgust on her face. She was not only upset with his actions, but with her own piqued desire. Kazama's eyes were glinting with offense at her action, and he scooted closer to her before grabbing her by the shoulders and kissing her once again.

"No!" Sen yelled as she pulled away before slapping him across the face.

Kazama reeled back, a hand coming to rest on the injured flesh. Sen noticed his usually red eyes were now golden. She stood, placing a hand on her abdomen. She wasn't about to let yet another argument be forgiven and forgotten through sex. She stood her ground as Kazama approached her, his eyes fiery. She could see he wanted to harm her in retribution for her strike, and she took a step back in order to place more distance between them.

"How _dare_ you-"

"Go ahead, Chikage," Sen challenged. "Prove to me you are the monster I _might_ think you are by hitting your pregnant wife!"

Kazama paused in his advance and stared at Sen. She returned the stare, letting him know she wasn't going to back down. For the moment, it seemed they had reached an impasse. Sen took the moment to calm her wildly beating heart and to think about what had just happened. She was shocked at herself for striking out at her husband, and she knew she was going to have to apologize for that eventually. What was more pressing was that there was an unresolved conflict between them, and she wanted it to be addressed in such a way that would last longer than angry sex. She just wasn't sure how that was going to happen. Kazama, on the other hand, was clearly struggling with gaining mastery of his own ire. She could see him physically attempting to calm himself with deep breaths, but the gold in his eyes remained. He was dangerously close to changing to his full Oni form, and Sen knew that Kazama was usually more difficult to manage in that state.

After a few more minutes, his eyes did return to their customary red, though they were still cold with fury. Sen took a deep breath and exhaled in relief. She then took a step back towards the futon and settled herself on the quilts. She was suddenly very tired and her lower back was beginning to ache from standing. She peered up at Kazama, his gaze unyielding.

"We need to talk," Sen began.

"Clearly."

Silence descended. Sen could tell that Kazama was extremely uncomfortable with this idea of talking. She had to find some way to break through that wall, but she wasn't sure how. She supposed she could start with that apology, though she was still feeling justified in her choice to hit him. She closed her eyes to give herself a tiny bit more time to come to terms with an apology she didn't truly want to give, but she knew it would open the doors to some sort of resolution.

"I…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have raised a hand to you," Sen murmured.

"Hmph," Kazama's eyes closed as he crossed his arms.

He continued to stand, which began to make Sen uncomfortable. She wondered if he was aware how much it was took her to open a door for him when he had been the initial aggressor? She sighed. _Probably not. All he cares about is himself_. As soon as she had those thoughts, she was shocked to find Kazama approach and seat himself on the futon across from her. She could feel all the muscles in her body tense as she watched his every movement - uncertain what was about to happen.

"Talk," he finally barked.

Sen frowned. "You're going to have to talk as well. This is a conversation, and they require two people to happen."

"I have nothing to say. I already spoke my mind."

Sen exhaled in an attempt to quell her temper. "Fine, then _I_ will start." She paused. "As much as I…enjoy our sex life, I can no longer allow us resolve our arguments with sex."

"But it works," Kazama replied as he opened his eyes. "I see nothing wrong with it."

"It doesn't fix our issues! We keep having the same fights and everything gets buried until it resurfaces again. I don't know about you, but I'm tired of fighting over the same things."

"Maybe if you listened to me, we wouldn't have the same fights."

"And if _you_ actually cared about someone other than yourself, then _I_ might listen to you more!"

Kazama slammed his hands down on the futon, leaning forward towards Sen. She sat back to maintain some of the distance between them. "Why do you think I have asked you to limit some of your responsibilities? Why have I done everything I possibly can think of to be sure your needs are being met while you carry my child? Do you think I do all those things on a whim?"

Sen sputtered, trying to retort while she processed his string of questions. It dawned on her that what she had understood as him controlling every aspect of her life was actually just his clumsy way of showing her that he cared. She opened her mouth in shock and then closed it as she felt a warm blush cross her cheeks.

"Actually…yes," she replied grudgingly. "Your _rules_ come off as very controlling."

"I don't understand you," Kazama flared. "You keep saying you want me to be a better husband and when I try, you act as if it isn't enough!"

"Because your way of showing it is ridiculous!" Sen saw Kazama wanted to retort, but she held up a hand to silence him. "I'm not going to break and neither is our child. Trying to limit what I do or what I eat is not being a good husband. Listening to me and…allowing me some independence while trusting me to do what is right for myself and the child is being a good husband. Being willing to talk about our issues instead of resorting to sex for a temporary fix is being a good husband."

Silence descended as Kazama processed what Sen had said. Sen watched him, wondering what he was going to do. She was asking him to do a lot - including being vulnerable - and she knew it was a tall order to fill. She decided that breaking it all down would be easier.

"Let's start with the rules for the pregnancy. I'm not even halfway through it yet, and I know that there is still plenty I am capable of doing. I wish to continue my duties as princess until I feel I am unable to, especially as I draw close to the time of the child's birth. Please allow me the opportunity to make arrangements for when that time comes."

"And what if something unexpected happens?" Kazama demanded.

"Then it happens. I will have contingency plans in place. If you wish to help me develop them, fine, but know that I will have final say since they are _my_ responsibilities."

"Hmph."

Sen took that as Kazama's acquiescence. She continued on. "And stop trying to control what I eat. I'm already hungry all the time and craving so many different things…if I can't have certain foods, I _will_ be cranky. If you follow these things, then you are already being a good husband."

"That's all I have to do?"

Sen sighed. "Well, I mean…there are _other_ things that would make you a good husband, but we'll start with these baby steps." She took a deep breath. "I apologize for misunderstanding your motivations behind your rules."

Kazama glared at her. "I set them because I care about the child."

Sen's smile was ironic. _Baby steps_ … "Yes, of course."

"But…I will… _try_ …to be more mindful of your wishes."

"That's all I ask," Sen said lightly.

The conversation ended, but the quiet between them was uncomfortable. Sen knew there was still so much work ahead of them to repair the dysfunctional way they had dealt with their anger, but she knew they were on the right road. She felt a flutter in her abdomen, and she placed a hand there, a soft smile gracing her lips. She looked toward Kazama, who looked interested in her movement. She was still miffed about him attempting to force himself on her earlier, but she knew if she allowed some sort of contact, it would help bridge the gap between them further. She leaned forward and grasped one of his hands. Kazama looked surprised as she placed it on her abdomen.

"What?"

"Shh. Just wait."

A minute or two passed before Sen felt the flutter once more. She knew Kazama felt it, for his eyes widened with surprise at the sensation he was feeling. She saw his mouth open slightly with wonder as his hand pressed a little bit more into her belly.

"Was that?"

Sen nodded. "A kick. They will get stronger as the child grows."

Sen then yawned and slowly lay down, and Kazama followed her, keeping his hand on her belly. She could tell he was absolutely fascinated by the movements he was feeling, and it brought a small smile to her face. She knew then that Kazama was capable of expressing his emotions buried so deep within. She now knew she needed to be more patient and provide him with opportunities to show her his regard for her. She hoped that he would take advantage of them.

"Do you really think me a monster?" he asked in a murmur.

Sen was shocked by the question, wondering where it came from. She then remembered what she had said earlier in the evening. She sighed and rested a hand on top of his. "No. I don't think that."

Kazama didn't answer back. He continued to watch her belly. She knew it was his way of being vulnerable while trying to not appear so. "I may not love you…but I know you care."

"I only care about the child."

"Yes. Of course."


End file.
